i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
As always, great stuff from Rob Delaney.
I wish the people that need to read this would. They probably won’t, but I can hope anyway.
Maybe I love snakes so much because they look like jewelry. Like beautiful, cold, moving necklaces that I want to wear all the time.
My mom’s friend adopted this lovely dog after he was abandoned by his previous family. His name is Shaun. Shaun had always been very good at eating all his food. Every last bit that was, he ate it. One day he started leaving a little bit behind. He wouldn’t eat everything, no matter what. He always left a little behind. Every morning when my mom’s friend checked Shaun’s bowl, the food was gone. That was very strange, because Shaun always spent the night by her side.
One night she decided to investigate the food situation. She waited quietly by the food bowl and then, in the middle of the night, a cat came through the window and ate the remaining food. She noticed the cat was actually pregnant. A week or so later the cat came into her house and gave birth to 6 little kittens. Shaun took care of them as if they were his own babies. My mom’s friend adopted the cat too (her name is Meow) and they took care of the kittens until they all found a loving home. Nowadays Meow and Shaun live happily together as a family and they each have their little bowl of food.
for all animal lovers
and one more boner just for good measure.
jus lemmi rev
I wish I knew the person who did this.
Hello Ron Swanson jack-o-lantern,
Reblog for Norcross, and for awesomeness.